i was a lover

why do bruises always look their worst while they heal?

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i had a slightly emotional attack today while i was at work. lately i've been doing a lot of work that doesn't require too much thinking, which makes my mind wander all over the place. today it brought me close to tears.
my heart and my head are working in unison to freak and stress me out.

i've been having nightmares again.
i've also just been having extra strange dreams.

one weird part of a dream i had last night, was that i had just moved to Amsterdam and i was walking through a town centre and it was pouring rain. i ducked into a coffee shop to stay dry and it was a kitty cafe, where everything is cat themed and there are actual cats running around that you can play with. i was having the best time playing with the cats and was taking pictures to send to a friend of mine who loves cats. then i saw my friend brendan who i've been missing like crazy, and i was super surprised to see him in Amsterdam, and it turned out he had moved there too. we ended up walking around in the rain, and we saw my sister, and she had an umbrella, but brendan was too tall to fit under it with us. we were all drenched anyway. we went into a sears and were looking to buy a big futon. brendan and i decided to be roommates, but we were so poor that we could only afford to share a bed, so we bought one and then we made a fort in in and just stayed in there talking, still soaking wet.