because you ain't so sweet to me

you scary thangs, you!

Die Vögel: Fratzengulasch from timo schierhorn on Vimeo.

orgasm

i have a lulu lemon bag sitting in my bathroom. on the outside of it are a bunch of messages that are suppose to be uplifting and life affirming type deals, such as "the pursuit of happiness leads to unhappiness." "do one thing a day that inspires you." "breathe deeply." etc. etc. well, i've never actually looked at this bag until today, and one of these life affirming messages caught my eye....

children are the orgasm of life.

ew, what? yes, they quite literally are i guess....but really? i don't think i like the idea of comparing children to orgasms, thanks.

pa pa pa peculiar

pleasantly pleased to be plagued by perplexing and peculiar dreams.

one section of my dream last night was extra strange. i think i was filming a show about Siamese twins. the Siamese twins were actually these weird creatures though. they were all under 5 feet and chubby, with tons of rolls. they looked like mystical woodland creatures or elves. they were connected by things that looked like antlers that came out of the palms of their hands and connected to their twins palms. the show chronicled a day in the life of these twins, and how they functioned without the use of their hands. i was hanging out with a set of twins, where one twin was normal but her twin was one of these creatures, except that her antlers were connected only to her own hands, but in a way that one arm was always twisted behind her. i remember she was struggling to bring her hands from behind her back over her head and it was pulling at her face and this goo was oozing out of her skin.
ick.

i wasn't scared or grossed out or anything in the dream though. it was only after, when i woke up, that i realised that my dream was really freaky.

also, i was woken up by a phone call, and you know when your dreams incorporate things going on in real life? like a phone rings in your dream, but it's actually ringing in real life? it made me wonder...how fast do dreams occur compared to normal time? my mind had time to make another character in my dream start talking on a phone, and then my phone started ringing, so i had to pick up my phone, which rang a few times in my dream, but in reality, i picked up after the first ring...

just a thought.

number crunchers

i wish i could delete more "friends" from facebook.
i have 339 "friends" after i just deleted 21 people.

the reason i feel like i "can't" delete more people is because i would feel rude if they noticed (although i'm not sure that many would...). a lot of the people i would delete would be current and ex-coworkers i have never hung out with outside of work, acquaintances or friends-of-friends that i see every rarely and the only conversations we ever have is small talk. as well, i would delete a lot of people i used to be friends with that i don't ever talk to anymore, and stuff like that.
i got curious as to how many people i'd actually delete if i didn't feel any social guilt by doing so, and the number was 117. that's a hefty number. being the big list fanatic and number cruncher that i am, i sorted my facebook friends into several groups to see what group ruled. it wasn't all that surprising, but it is a little sad.

my results:

actual friends: 63

mostly party friends/people in my social group that i only hang with in larger groups: 70

acquaintances/friends of friends (aka people who i'd mostly have small talk with): 86

family: 9

current/ex-coworkers: 39

councils/groups: 12

friends from high school: 21

people i used to be good friends with, but don't see too often anymore: 32

other (including random swede i met at a bar, my tattoo artist, two of one friend's ex-girlfriends, a friend's dog, etc): 7

(for those keeping track, only 40% (friends + social group friends) of my facebook friends are people i actually consider my friends...)


if i were able to delete guilt-free, i would be down to 222. this grouping would be friends, the majority of the social group friends, a couple family members, and then people who i felt would be good to stay in touch with for arts/cultural job/event/etc purposes. i would like to delete 35% of my "friends" on facebook.

sometime i'd like to just delete facebook all together, because it creeps me out at times, but in the end, i keep it, because it really is a great way to keep in touch with people and figure out what to do on a friday night...

--------------------

sorry, i know this post was probably real boring for anyone other than me, but in the end it's my blog, and it's all about recording my thoughts, inspirations, etc. so yeah.
there will be more music, art, and whatever else soon i'm sure.

don't you want me to wake uuuuup? then give me just a bit of your time

over thinking
leads to

...insomnia
...writing
...crosswords and logic puzzles
...headphones and darkness
...frustration
...confusion
...listening to dance yrself clean by lcd soundsystem on repeat and wishing everyone else wasn't sleeping so i could belt it out (instead of silently mouthing the words...not nearly as satisfying haha)

arg.

it's embarrassing how much i laughed out loud to this. so dumb.
(but really funny)


p.s: the dentist monkey is Julian Barrat (from the mighty boosh) fo sho

so weird.

a guy i used to date got married.
i feel way too young for that sentence to be true.

ione rucquoi....you've outdone yourself. these are ridiculously unsettling.

a big hairy deal

no idea who created these, but when i find out i'll let you know.

marcel. shoes included.

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

this is creepy and weird. but i like it.

i'm sorry in advance..

i'm not sure how exactly or why this happened....but i'm now an avid follower of the stupid reality show the bachelorette. i know, i know, it's not the most stimulating of shows, but it sure is entertaining. there's this one really sweet guy on the show named kasey, and you can tell he means well and he really just wants to fall in love, but he is also kind of nuts. kasey and the bachellorette ali went on a one-on-one date tonight and he kept randomly singing her songs about what they were doing, not in a "i'm being goofy and sing-narrating what's happening" but in a "check out my awesome voice, i'm gonna sweep you off your feet la la la" kind of way. he kept saying really cheesy things as well that you might find cute and endearing if you were already in love with the person, but on a [practically] first date it's a little (aka A LOT) too much. she ended up telling him that he seems too over the top and not genuine and she just wanted to see the real him. he didn't get a rose on the date, but he didn't get sent home either, he got another chance before the big rose ceremony.
so. he decides that he needs to do something that shows her he's genuine, etc. and remember, she says he's too over the top right now and he needs to just chill out. what does he do you ask?
he gets a tattoo. yup. a tattoo. of a rose, a shield and a heart on his wrist, because he keeps telling her that he's there to guard her heart. WHAT?! eek. that's like a dude getting your name tattooed on his chest after your second date. way too intense. i'm sorry. whoa.


judge me all you want, but i'm hooked on the bachelorette. whyyyyyyy?!

p.s: he didn't get a chance to show her the tattoo this wekk, but i think he'll reveal it next week. and then i think she'll boot him off. my goodness. guys, do not take dating tips from this show.

oh that adrian

i have no idea why this made me smile as big as it did, but maybe it'll do the same for you!

my blog cuts a bit of the video off, so go to this link for the full sized video!

UPDATE:
so when i first posted this, i watched the video at least 8 times that day. that night i dreamed that adrien brody came into my work and i was so excited and asking him a bunch of things and telling him how much i loved him. i think i annoyed him and he left my store and while he was leaving i shouted "WAIT! I HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION! have you ever seen brodyquest?!"
haha i'm the biggest dork.

another dream to pass the night

i was at some park or fair and met some people in a car in the parking lot. two guys (who in real life are pro skateboarders i've never met) and two girls (one is this random girl i've seen around town and the other was the girl who plays wayne's gf in wayne's world). they told me to meet up with them at the kings head later that night. i went off to get a tattoo. i went into a tat place and drew the guy what i wanted but he went to go redraw it but was having a lot of trouble with it. after about an hour he comes back with this drawing of some weird symbol made up of a dragon, a chain and a ring of fire. i told him it wasn't my style and went up to a different tattoo artist (the one i used in real life) and asked if he could do it and he said no. and the first tat guy was all concerned that i knew the other guys name. so i left and went to the kings head which was like a gigantic mall with 5 floors. i ran into the car people i met and they were eating cadbury cream eggs but only the insides of it so i ate the chocolate. then i went somewhere for a bit and when i came back it was just the boys left and we hung out.

random and boring dream. no epic battles or chase scenes this time sorry.

oh actually i remember another dream as well:


i was traveling somewhere with my sister and some people and we'd just gotten to a hotel. i had no idea where we were, i guessed fargo but we may have been somewhere in europe. either way we drove there and as soon as we got to the hotel i got distracted and left behind. i ran into these two girls i know and was chatting with them, and another person i knew came up but i couldn't remember one of the girl's names (thee two girls have been in a few of my dreams and in the dream i never remember one girl's name, even though i definitely know it in real life). when i left them i saw a bed in the hall so i just flaked out on there caz i was tired. then i felt someone else get on the bed and it was this guy ash (a model). we started making out and then other people got on the bed and were also making out and we felt weird so we got up and went into this office. he'd just been at a costume party and didn't have a shirt on but was wearing a pin on his chest. he took it out and i got grossed out, then i woke up.

again not very interesting, but that's ok. i like all dreams.

dreaming

i realize my dreams may not interest you, but they interest me so, sorry, here's mine from last night:

i was in a park on a field trip and i was cuddling with my friend on the grass and him and this guy kept snorting drugs and i some how inhaled some and was hallucinating and tripping out. everything looking multicolored and like there were heat waves everywhere. it felt really good to lay in the grass. i had my eyes closed for a bit and when i opened them my friends had left me. so i got up and wandered through the grassy field looking for people. there were tons of people all over the grass lying down in it, i think they were all on drugs too. there were this marshy really grassy bits and there were always people lying face down in them tripping out. this one little kid past me and was saying how there were worms all over the ground which freaked me out.
i decided to lie down again in the grass and i saw this girl and her friend watching me. one of the girls came up to me and started dancing around me and singing to me while playing her violin. she was trying to serenaded me. then she asked if i wanted to go on an adventure with her and her friend and i said ok. they both had elf ears. we snuck out of the park and they led me to this building and asked if i've ever been on the roof. i said no.
so we sneak into this building and are going up a bunch of flights of stairs when we're caught by some thugs (apparently we're in a gangster's head quarters). the violin girls friend takes off. the gangsters have both of us but the violin girl tells them to let me go and i run out the door down the stairs. i run into the other girl and she gets mad at me for leaving her friend. when i bring up the fact that she left first she says it doesn't matter because i made the violin girl think i loved her and would stay but then left her, so i was worse for giving her false hope. she made me feel guilty so i decided to go back and save the violin girl. i get to a floor above the roof top level (somehow this makes sense in my dream) and peak out through the door. they're hurting the violin girl and are cutting off the tip of her elf ear. i sneak down a level of stairs so i'm at roof level and open up the door to peak out but there are gangsters on the other side, i do something that accidentally make one of the gangsters shoot and kill another gangster and he tries to then shoot me. i dodge the gun then grab his hand and make him fire all the shots into the air. another gangster comes and tells me to run and he'll try to misdirect the other gangster. so i take off down the stairs pretty much jumping flight after flight.

then i woke up.

weird dream in bits and pieces:

i was at a new school and there was this girl who didn't like me and she made fun of the way i went up an escalator (there were too many people on the one going up , so i ran up the one going down). then we were all in a big assembly and i was sitting beside her ex boyfriend and she was sitting behind us. i thought this guy was a tool, but we both didn't like the girl so we decided to make her jealous by him writing on my notebook if i would be his girlfriend and i wrote yes back and made sure she'd see it. and then i was supposed to write "happy birthday joey" on his notebook to make her even more jealous. then the guy on my other side who was actually really nice and i liked him was trying to teach me something about how to make schedules or something, and i gave him my number. then later on in the dream i had a twin and we may have been the olsen twins. and we had double booked ourselves to be in two performances. the entire school was at a summer camp or something. and for one of the performances it was just me and my twin sister and we were dressed as giant squirrels (i don't remember what our act was though). but then my sister had signed us up in a drumming competition because we both slightly knew how to drum. we were in the middle of a forest by a big stage with our friends in our squirrel costumes but then realized we had only a few minutes to make it to the drumming competition so we had to run there. so we booked it and were running through the forest and the camp to get to the place. at some point my twin had to go get something so she took off in one direction and i kept going to the drum competition. when i got there one band was just finishing up and they were amazing, and then the next band came on and they again were fantastic. i realized that if my sister and i got up there we'd make a fool of ourselves so i tried to think of something we could do that would make us seem better than we were. i realized i could rap and knew all the words to biggie's party and bullshit song, but i didn't want to do that because it used the n word and i didn't want to offend anyone. then i got a psychic message from my twin saying that she found the kid from our old school who was amazing at the clarinet and was bringing him to come on stage with us.
that's all i really remember. i think we did good in the competition. i remember we had to wear these short shorts that had bedazzled words on the back, i think it said drummer.
i also remember another portion of the dream or an entirely different dream i had last night where i had called a friend of mine and we sorted a bunch of things out and both had huge news to tell the other person. when the phone call was done i went into my kitchen and was telling my parents i couldn't remember if that had actually happened or if the phone call was part of a dream.


dreams are so strange.

also. i just found out yesterday that there were 9 more days til xmas eve! that means 8 more days now! christmas snuck up on me this year! i finished most of my shopping, i just need to find my grandma something, i think i'm getting her a calendar.

things i find odd:

-people dating people with the same name as their serious ex or their pet
-meeting someone in real life that you've seen on the internet first
-when people wear santa hats as toques

(also, just try not to smile when you look at that picture. awwhwhhhwhwwww.)

i had two of the most detailed, long and random dreams last night.


dream one:
the world was being turned into vampires. i only remember parts of the dream now and can't figure out the order, but i'm gonna try my best. i had been captured and turned into a vampire by this group of other vampires and they wanted me to be a part of their renaissance family they were creating. they chose me because of my hair. i was mad because one of the girl vampires kept brushing my hair. we were waiting outside of a house while they tried to find another person to join our family. next part, i was running away from these animals that had been turned into vampires. if you were a vampire and got bit by another vampire, you would get more and more decomposed. so since animals fight with their teeth, all of these animals were rotting and one step away from becoming total mush, but they were also super vicious and trying to bite everyone so it was really scary and everyone was running and trying to kill these animals without getting bit. i remember i was in someones backyard and was sort of trapped and all these gross cats came into the yard and i kept grabbing them and trying to break them. then i ran and hopped over a fence. next part i remember is my family and i were at my grandma's house now and we were all vampires. for some reason i wanted my curling iron from my old house which was far away and in a dangerous part of town. my sister and her friend said they would go get it for me, but i didn't want them to, because i knew they could be killed because the old house was probably infested with the double bit decomposing vampires who would bite everyone. but my sister and her friend tried to show us how powerful they were by doing something with their mind powers and they almost shattered the huge window at the front of my grandmas house, but we stopped them before they could, because my grandma's house was bad vampire proof and if they broke the window we wouldn't be safe any more. so they stopped and my dad went outside to fix the cracked window and it was pouring rain outside. then i went into my grandma's room where she was writing a note. i started to read the note and it was a death note because she didn't want to live as a vampire forever so she had let a double bit vampire bite her and now she was infected and we had to get her out of the house. i started to cry and then yelled for my dad and some other guy to come and get my grandma out of the house. while they did that the rest of us locked ourselves in the dinning room so that if something happened we'd still be safe. but then my mom got really mad and her and two guys that were with us started fighting and breaking things and broke down a wall so now none of us were safe. and then i woke up.


random dream numero deuce:
i had either gone for a walk or bike ride or was in a car and ended up and this girl i know from high school's house where a car of my girl friends was unloading from a trip to the beach. we all started going into this girl's house when a bunch of guys across the street said they knew me, so i went over there and hung out with them for a bit. it was for some sort of birthday party. i'm missing a whole chunk of the dream here, but then i remember i was with five friends and we somehow decided we should all go right that second to visit our friend in sweden! (in real life i don't know anyone who lives in sweden). so then we were all on a plane, super happy that we were going to sweden. when we got there our friend picked us up in his car and we started our swedish road trip. we had to drive through a boarder and the guards were very military looking and gave us dirty looks but they let us through. we stopped at a rest stop later to get snacks and things, and i had to use the washroom and the toilet was in the center of the store right next to a bench. so as i was doing my thing i was talking to my friend who was sitting next to me on the bench. in my dream this wasn't odd at all. then my mom was with us (even though in the dream she wasn't my mom she was just one of my friends on the trip, but i still knew it was my mom) was asking me about the shirt i was wearing. i said it was an archie comic. then my dream turns cartoon mode and we see what my shirts all about, and it's an archie comic that is talking about how usa is awesome and all other countries suck. and my mom told me that that's why the guards were glaring at us, they probably thought we were american's and i should probably change my shirt because it was offensive. my underwear had the same comic on them. i realised that i'd only brought two other shirts with me and was bummed out about it. as we walked back to the car my pants were now way too big for my waist and kept falling down and showing my patriotic archie underwear and i was worried we'd all get in trouble. then, i woke up.

i watched a girl put on ten coats of mascara while waiting for the bus today.
that's right, i said ten.
yes i counted.

anyway, this is what my weekends are like:


also, long hair, strong jaw lines, high cheek bones. blue eyes.


all the guys working at the walker gallery in minneapolis had long hair and moustaches. i was surprised at the amount of culture floating around downtown minneapolis. they apparently have a pretty big hip hop scene. before i went on my trip, i didn't really even think about going to minneapolis for anything but shopping.

p.s: this made me chuckle

i just remembered a dream i had.

i was talking to someone about tattoos and they asked to see mine. i lifted up my shirt to show them my tattoos, besides the bird one i really do have, i had two more. all in a row starting at my bird and then wrapping around to my back. the first one was supposed to be of a friend of mine but he had the body of a wrestler all rippling muscles and stuff. it was done in a really really awful cartoon style. the one next to that was supposed to be that same person, but it was just their face and it was supposed to be a very realistic portrait. it looked like the mad magazine guy. then i noticed i had another tattoo beside that one! i didn't remember getting it and hadn't noticed it because it was completely on my back. it was supposed to be the same person again (no idea why i wanted all these tats of this person), but it was done so badly. the lines were all shaky and the color was blotchy. oh and it looked like a silver alien head. i started crying because i really regretted having these 3 awful/weird tattoos.

^pretty close to what my dream self's tattoos looked like...


also i had something like this tattooed by my collarbone, but this one i liked in my dream. it was some sort of monk symbol.