rose colored glasses

i was just shutting off the lights down stairs and thinking "how sad is it that at 17 i'm still scared something will jump out at me from the dark" then "wait a minute, i'm 18." "wait...19.." i'm going senile already!

so i'm half way through book II of the twilight series, and (SPOILER..kind of..ALERT) a werewolf just showed up. its funny how when that happened i "psssch"ed the novel. caz i mean, vampires totally real, but werewolves, now that's unbelievable! haha sometimes my logic doesn't make sense. either way, i was ballin last night when i was reading the book caz something sad happened. it's sad how easy i get into books and movies, make anyone in them cry and i'm crying right beside them!

kels and i went shopping today caz she wnated to buy me a late bday present. of course i ended up buyin myself stuff too i totally didnt need. i bought some jeans, they're light wash (whoa). i havent worn light colored jeans since my favorite jeans stopped fitting in grade 12. they're pretty decent. kels bought me a cardigan type thing, it's grey (surprise surprise). i really tried to not get a grey or black one, but the other colors were icky. annnnd then kels needed some shoes and the first size they brought out was too big so i slipped them on and they fit great...we ended up buying the same pair of chucks. which craig also has. craig and i have the same jacket, just boy and girl variations. liek craig said, we're one step away from a music video. le sigh.

i'm getting my hair done on friday. i'm getting it cut. i have an idea in mind, not mega short, short for me, but about collarbone length. i think it'll look cool. plus i'm gonna go even blonder, like white blonde. i may look albino after, if so, i'll just get low lights next time lol. i'm just so sick and bored of my hair, wish me luck!

achoo!

excuse me.

la la christmas

i decided this year i'm starting early! i've already bought some christmas presents! i've got my dad and my sister down which i'm pumped about. i really like my sisters gift, i hope she does too! i hate settling for gifts, i always want to get someone something they'll love. i dunno if i can afford doing friend presents this year, but i know i'll end up doing it anyway. i love buying presents for people.

i'm gonna make some sweet ass xmas cards this year. i'm determined.

we decorated the store last night for xmas. they had me on a ladder (yikes, it gets worse) tying big glass (told you) christmas balls to fishing string at the front display of the store. of course i dropped one. miraculously it didn't shatter to pieces! then when i was driving a friend home i somehow completely misjudged my distance from my car seat and smoked my body on the door frame of the car. super graceful.
not only do i hate winter because of the cold, but it also plays with my weaknesses. why do i live in a place that for months, is coated in ice?! i've already fallen several times. thanks for the bruises.

i bought the 2nd book of the twilight series, i'm kinda scared to start it caz know i'll get consumed in it and i have so much school things to do right now! yikes, my finals are coming up fast and i have 3 essays to write this week. one i need to do tomorrow and one is a 10 page research paper i haven't started. ick.

i bought a WAD magazine the other day. i never fully read into the title but it stands for we'ar different. so it can be read wear different and we are differnt. i like it, good title making skills whoever. plus it's a collectable cover edition! neat!

last night i felt really good. i was happy.
i didn't want to fall asleep yet.
i wrote a bit in my journal. i wrote about nothing.
i wrote how i had purple paint on my foot.
and i wrote a poem with no rhythm.
i just wanted to rhyme.
then i had my pod on shuffle.
and these four songs lulled me to sleep:

john bion - elephant parade
belle and sebastien - the boy with the arab strap
david gray - cry
spoon - everything hits at once

it's funny when my pod plays the music for my mood.
pssst, elephant parade is really lovely, very short, but i bet you'd like it.

how many converstions can you have at once

i've always wanted to play the piano. i had a keyboard at my house for years, but obviously couldn't play. i was too shy/embarrassed to ask for lessons, i'm not sure why.
it's ridiculous how shy i used to be. i still get shy, and now i blush, but i definitely talk a lot more now. a lot more. i would say i'm relatively outgoing, depends who i'm with.
i avoid awkward situations, and i decided that i'm not going to do that anymore, because being a little bit awkward never hurt anyone, so why avoid a conversation, you never know where it may lead! i'm not going hunting for them, but hey, if it happens, i'll go with it.

on another note, i was thinking about the universe and god yesterday in my medieval/renaissance art history class. i for sure think jesus was real, there can't have been such a wide spread tale about someone who never existed could there? not saying everything said about him is true, but i'm sure person-wise he did exist. either way, that's not really my point. i got freaked out for a bit, because for such an expansive place to be a part of aka the universe and beyond...how the heck did everything come into being. obviously we've all thought this before, but i just hadn't thought about it a while, and like always it blew my mind. literally shot confetti and sparkles out of my ears. it really is amazing that we have no idea how any of this happened. who cares how the earth and it's inhabitants were created, i'm just curious about everything else. it's an infinite loop of questions that will never be answered. and i think that is pretty neat.

and now another change of subject. i'm determined to go travelling through europe in 2010, after i (hopefully) graduate. i've started saving, i'm pretty much at nothing, but i have a year and a half to save. i want to go travelling alone, i'll probably get ridiculously lost at more than one point, but i'm pretty good at getting out of sticky situations. i've put my mind to it, so it is going to happen.

p.s: i finished twilight, so now i have to go buy the other 3 books. the ending was kind of weak, but that's ok. i found what i'm getting my sister for christmas. i decided to get everyones gifts really early so i actually have money for parties and outings at xmas, and so that i don't have to murder everyone at the mall if i wait. i have to work xmas eve this year..and boxing day. oh goodness, wish me luck.

whisper me your darkest secrets

when it's dark
i send you secret messages
i close my eyes and think of you
do you send me them too?

i don't know if i get it. and i don't know if i need to.



p.s: word on the street is that the strokes are coming out with a new album in '09