i was a lover

in a perfect world..

it would be warm and sunny all the time.
you could ride bikes year round.
if you didn't feel like working that day, you didn't have to.
i work in a gallery giving tours or just helping people enjoy art.
i could sew my own clothes.
i could do crafts all day if i wanted.
i had tons of paint and was talented enough to paint with them.
i could play the ukulele.
i had a lovely singing voice.
i was naturally blonde.
i never got zits.
no one fought, was mean, grumpy, or talked shit about other people.
we were all happy.
everyone knew what it was like to be in love.
i lived in my own cute apartment with a never ending supply of books.
everything had a pastel glow.
things were like how they felt.
everyone was naturally fit and people didn't die unexpectedly.

things i can realistically work on: working in a gallery, sew my own clothes, start gathering my own paints, learn how to play the ukulele, have my own cute apartment near a library (never ending supply of books). also, once i'm financially able and at the point in my life where i feel ready, i can move to some place without winter.
i feel like once my school is finished, i will have the freedom to do what i want. i may be sadly mistaken, but for now, that's how i feel.


i'm glad i'm an optimist. even when i feel so so shitty and do shitty things, i know things will get better. i believe in positive thinking and that working hard will produce positive results. i try to work past my flaws and try to remember to enjoy things and experience as much as i can.