i've been having disturbing dreams for the past month and a half/two months.
i wouldn't call them nightmares, because i don't wake up scared, but they're just not good dreams. really dark and twisted things happen.
the other night i dreamed that i was dying slowly and no one believed me. i was leaning over a sink feeling really weak and i had a really bad nosebleed. everyone thought i was just being dramatic and kept telling me that it was just a nosebleed, but i would tell them that it can't be just a nosebleed, i'd never had a nosebleed in my entire life. i was hemorrhaging inside. no one believed me. after a while, someone pulled my shirt sleeve aside and noticed my entire body was blue and bruised, because i was bleeding internally, but now it was too late to do anything about it.
nice hey? hmm.
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side note: i hate winter. it gets way too cold and makes me a hermit. this winter i wont have access to a car like i'm used to, so i'm really going to have to push myself to man up and face the cold if i don't want to kill my social life for a couple months lol. ugh. when you know that it's scientifically possible for any exposed skin to get frost bite in two minutes, and you have a 10 minute walk, and probably another 10 minute wait, for your bus....it gets really hard to leave the house.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
i thought i understood it
I thought I understood it
That I could grasp it
But I didn’t
Not really
I knew the smudgeness of it
The pink-slippered-all-containered-semi-precious eagerness of it
I didn’t realize it would sometimes be more than whole
The wholeness was a rather luxurious idea
Because its the halves that halve you in half
Didn’t know
Don’t know about the in between bits
The gore-y bits of you
And gore-y bits of me
-from "like crazy"
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