so i never updated on the books i was reading

the picture of dorian gray - 6/10
they kept talking about scandals and stuff, but you never actually found out what they were. it was a cool idea, and i probably would have liked it more if i had been in the mood for it.

brave new world - 7/10
wasn't what i thought it was going to be. it was interesting. for distopian future stories, i liked 1984 and oryx and crake better.

today i picked up jonathan strange and mr. norrell by susanna clarke, because i remembered my grade 12 english teacher had a copy and i always thought the cover looked interesting. plus i have a thing for thick books, this one's just over 1000 pages.
oh i also picked up a short story by neil gaimen, i forget what it's called.

when i was younger and took out books from the library, i always would pick out the three thickest books i could find with dragons on the cover haha. i remember finding this one really cool series about dragons, i forget what it was though. lol i'm such a dork.

lately i'm feeling...
excited
reminiscent
hopeful
adventurous
content
outgoing
appreciative
creative
happy

300th

last night i went to an event at the lo pub, it. was. amazing. a bunch of local filmmakers got together and made 4 screen videos for each combined track of the flaming lips album zaireeka. if you haven't heard of this, it's a really cool idea. i'll let wikipedia explain:
"Zaireeka is the eighth studio album by the alternative rock band The Flaming Lips. Released on October 28, 1997, the experimental rock album consists of four compact discs. Each of its eight songs consists of four stereo tracks, one from each CD. The album was designed so that when played simultaneously on four separate audio systems, the four CDs would produce a harmonic or juxtaposed sound. The discs may be included in different combinations, omitting one, two or three discs. The album's title is a portmanteau of two words: Zaire, chosen as a symbol of anarchy after Wayne Coyne heard a radio news story about the political instability of the African nation, and eureka (literally: "I have found it"), an expression of joyous discovery."
last night was the first time i'd ever heard it all as the one mega album and it was insane. i loved it, loved it, loved it. the filmmakers did an excellent job with the videos, but i bet i had my eyes closed for over half of them; the music just took over. such a cool experience.

i'm going to hunt down a version of the cds combined, because it'd be difficult to gather four cd players every time i wanted to listen to the album. if anyone knows where i could find this, hook a girl up!



"People think dreams aren’t real just because they aren’t made of matter, of particles. Dreams are real. But they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes. "
-Neil Gaiman

morning

woke up with this in my head

low ride er

peep peep...or i guess hoot hoot?

top 5 things that i'm craving right now:
-cuddle sesh
-a really GOOD book. page turner.
-laying out in the sun at a park or somethin
-a good singing voice because i feel like belting out every song i hear
-laugh sesh that ends with cramps and tears

last night kels and i were waiting for a call telling us where to go. we were bored and drinking. something happened inside of me and i got super hyper. this resulted in me running around a table, and then chasing kelsey while singing a creepy circus song...lol. at the time it was hilarious. even now, i think it's pretty funny. we laughed really hard anyway, that's what counts!

i feel like a boy today. look-wise anyway. right this second i'm wearing a basketball jersey and my baggy pants. hmmm.

kels and i always joke that we're the boys in relationships, and old women in social situations. make of that what you will.


sometimes i go on aircanada.com and check out how much it would cost to pick up and leave next week. as soon as school is done, i'm outta here, at least for a little while. that gives me a year and a half to save up. i also have to pay for school for that year and a half, so it may take a little while longer, but in a year and a half at least my options will be wide open.
i was also thinking of getting a tattoo of either my home town coordinates or a tiny tiny plane. motivation to travel.

last night i had a dream, and one part of it was about playing super nintendo, but we beat the world. another part was getting back a bunch of pictures i had developed that i'd left in my friend's mom's room. then the third part had to do with something scary, i don't know what, but me and this guy were holding hands and he was leading me to safety somewhere. after we got somewhere safe, we were sitting on this bench in this semi-dark hallway and the girl next to us asked us why we were still holding hands now that we were safe, and we said, "it just feels right. we know everything will be ok." every scary feeling was gone. i put my head on his shoulder and then we just sat.
i think i miss holding hands.

this past week i've met someone who looks like shannon sossamon, and someone who looks like devendra banhart. oh, and re-met someone who looks like michael pitt. all people i think are beautiful. cool.

another load..

..of things i think are nice to look at:





















images from: thedelicatematter.com, awkwardfamilyphotos.com, controversy and contradiction, jimmy turrell, marc johns, matt leines, my heart eats beats, phantasmaphile, childhood flames, slightly removed, hazel weatherfeild, funeral face, weird fish, upon the mountian top, and some others possibly.

romantic

"According to greek mythology, humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves."

i was about to talk about another dream i had last night, but it was pretty weird and long. i don't think it'll make sense at all if i try to explain it. in the end of the dream though, right before i woke up, i was freaking out because some girl kept pushing my stomach and it was the most painful thing i'd ever felt and i realised my kidney's were failing and i had to get her to call the ambulance, but then i called 911 and they said an ambulance wouldn't come. then i woke up.

i'm so annoyed with the weather right now. yesterday it was 4c. today it's a high of 1c. it's mid may...the normal high is 19c. what the heck. lol i was telling my dad how angry it made me about the weather, and i keep feeling that i should do something about it, like write a letter to who's in charge and complain. obviously that can't happen caz it's nature's choice, not man's. but still, this weather blows.

today i have to go to the dentist for a wisdom teeth consultation. :S i'm getting them taken out this summer i guess. ick.

parallels

last nights dream was sort of a jumble of my real life....sort of..

last night i dreamt i was at a party in a church. the church was really small and everyone was in one room and no one really wanted to be there, but they were because it was a church thing and their parents made them go. now i don't remember very much else, other than my friend erik was there and he was dressed in onesie pjs and had on a cape. he was running around pretending he could fly and that he was a matador. he was also speaking spanish.

how does that make up my real life you ask? oh well let me explain!

-small party, everyone in one room:
uhm, i was at a house party last night and everyone was sitting in one empty bedroom. there was a ring of people around the wall, and then in the middle of the room facing the people against the wall. a game of telephone was played, it was ridiculous.

-church retreat, no one wanting to be there:
i was remembering yesterday how i once faked sick to get out of going to a church retreat because i didn't want to go lol

-erik in a onesie pajama:
he was wearing a shirt yesterday from aa that a girl i know told me she wears as her pj shirt. why they were onesie pjs in my dream...i'm not sure, but i'm not complaining!

-erik also wearing a cape:
i don't remember at all when this happened anymore, but at some point during the night, craig and erik had a conversation about how they should try to make crop tops on guys fashionable. craig said that he wanted to make capes fashionable. they then decided that they could do both. they would cut all of their shirts into crop tops, and with the left over bits that they cut off, they would create glorious patchwork quilt capes.

-speaking spanish/being a matador:
one of the guys who was with us was leaving in a few hours to go to panama and he was speaking spanish every now and then during the night.

the end.


fun fact from the real night:
i'm really creepily good for some reason with faces, and sometimes names. two people i met yesterday i'd remember randomly not meeting years ago. one was a girl who i'd met for maybe five minutes while working at btb, she'd known andrew (my boss) because they'd worked together. i haven't worked at btb for about 2 years, so good job memory.
another person, was this guy who looked really familiar, and i thought he looked like liam aiken (the son from stepmom, and he was also the boy in lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events). when i told him he looked really familiar and he got a little smirk on his face, which freaked me out for a second, because i thought "how crazy would it be, if it is the famous guy and he get this a lot...." but then after talking we realised he was in a film course of mine at uni in my first year. i remembered his face so well, because i'd thought before when he was in my class that he looked like liam aiken.

i had such a great dream last night. it was an epic adventure. i was woken by a telemarketer calling my cell phone, just as things were getting even more exciting.

i don't remember very much of it. the part right before i woke up is most clear. i was with someone and we had just gotten to an alternate universe and were at a costume party looking for our friend who worked as a promoter at the party. she had just gotten this new job here. she was dressed as an air fairy. her costume looked like a cinderella dress, but it was all made out of balloons, she had balloon wings too. me and whoever i was with ran toward our friend when we spotted her and tried to update her on everything that had happened and tell her that we were all in grave danger, when all of a sudden i got a very awful feeling and grabbed both of my friends hands and yelled "quick fly!" and jumped into the air. my friend who was the party promoter dressed as a fairy lifted me and my other friend into the air (because she could fly) while she worriedly asked why, and i pointed to the ground below us and said "DEMONS!" and running below us were three people in costume from the party who now had sharp teeth and glowing eyes. then i woke up. this whole sequence took place over 30 seconds dream time maybe. i love adventure dreams. i wish i remembered more of it. i haven't flown in a dream in a long time.


today i finally saw lost in translation. i really liked it. it was nice. i really want a pink wig just like this.

i also started my puzzle that i just bought, and played around with some collage ideas. i'll post some pictures later.

i've been having pretty good days lately.

lower backs.

whenever i see a guys lower back, it weirds me out. not if the whole back is shown, but more specifically, when you only see the lower back...i'm talking about, when a guy bends over, or is sitting, and his shirt creeps up and you catch a glimpse of male lower back. it's just weird. i guess it's because the lower back is kind of a sexed up body part on a female, that it feels like guys just shouldn't have them. i don't know why but over the past week and a bit, i've seen several lower back slip ups from fellas. hmm.
am i the only one who thinks its weird?

p.s: i once knew a guy who's first tattoo was a lower back tattoo. i thought that was odd too.

discuss.

(image from How I Met Your Mother. ted wakes up after a drunken night with a butterfly tramp stamp)

:)

this made me smile a lot.

unrelated:
"Why is it that when you miss somebody so much that your heart is ready to disintegrate, you always hear the saddest song ever on the radio?"
-the adventures of pete and pete

it's funny how that happens

Tita Lee

i watched synecdoche, new york tonight. i liked it. it was very creative. it reminded me a little of science of sleep in a way. it's really nothing like it though. it was one of those films you'll probably have to watch a few times to really pick up on everything that's happening. it also reminded me of the fountain, even though again, it's nothing like it at all. maybe, i guess what i'm saying is, if you liked science of sleep or the fountain, or at least appreciated their visuals, then this film is probably for you.



"Dear diary, I'm afraid I'm gravely ill. It is perhaps times like these that one reflects on things past. An article of clothing from when I was young. A green jacket. I walk with my father. A game we once played. Pretend we're faeries. I'm a girl faerie. My name is Laura Lee. And you're a boy faerie. Your name is Tita Lee. Pretend, when we're faeries we fight each other, and I say "Stop hitting me I'll die!" And you hit me again and I say, "Now I have to die." And then you say, "But I'll miss you." And I say, "But I have to. And you'll have to wait a million years to see me again. And I'll be put in a box, and all I'll need is a tiny glass of water and lots of tiny pieces of pizza and the box will have wings like an airplane." And you'll ask, "Where will it take you?" "Home." I say."

we had it right

i wish my mind had a special part that would hold onto everything i ever thought was beautiful.
that way, whenever i was feeling something ugly, i could bring an image forward,
and i could remember the exact moment i first saw it,
and how i felt.
something would spark, the ugly feeling would vanish
and be replaced by something beautiful.



i've had to deal with two phobias of mine recently. i've been too close to two moths this week, and while walking on our new deck barefoot, i got a huge sliver in my foot.
now i'm just waiting to come home one day to find my house infested with mascots.

i love pictures.
i love books.
i love art.
i love culture.
i love medieval/renaissance history.

surround me with that. and i will be happy.
i am determined to get a job in an art gallery.
that is my school focus.

let's see where it takes me.

mmmm cake

i just remembered parts of a weird dream that i had.

it was my birthday, and i was working (i think) at safeway, and my friends surprised me with a gigantic cake. i was so surprised and touched that they remembered my birthday i was tearing up. i dished out a bunch of cake for the customers (and some people i went to elementary school with, mostly twins). then i had one piece left in a container for myself. i gave some grumpy squeegee kids the rest of the cake, but they just thought i was giving them icing so they scowled at me. then later after they realised it was cake we became good friends. then i was at the airport with my dad going to pick up my uncle, but now i was five and my uncle was in his late teens, and he hugged me and said hi. then he went to the bathroom and while my dad and i waited outside for him, my dad ate the rest of my cake without asking. (ya somehow i had the cake back). then my uncle gave me some sort of harness to carry clothes in. somehow i was then in an airplane, but i was like, half in and half out of the airplane, i think i was hanging through a window, my waist down was outside of the plane, and i kept twisting around so i could see my foot through my dad's window.

i don't think i remember any more. it was so random.

Le Sens Propre

i thought it was just allergies. how wrong i was. i'm super duper sick right now, but work everyday. i need the cash so i'm gonna have to suck it up. plus i still want to go out tonight. it's a friday, i'm not staying home :P

Cisma's "Le Sens Propre" from glossy inc on Vimeo.

this is visually stimulating. i like it.

sometime this summer, i'm going to book a day off work, and just make the rounds in the art galleries of the city.

i also think it's strange how much our idea of how we come off can be different from what other people see. even when it comes to something so simple as the way our voice sounds. whenever we hear a recording of our own voice, it sounds so foreign. the only reason i know that i'm soft spoken is because others have told me so, and even in loud places when i feel like i'm shouting, i can see everyone leaning in to hear me.
i was talking to my mom about this the other day and she said something about how she's soft spoken too. i almost choked on whatever i was eating/drinking, because in no way would i describe my mom's voice as soft spoken or quiet. i think she has a very loud voice. no matter where she is in the house i can always hear her.
i think that's funny how we get our perspectives switched around.

it's odd how hard it is to find love,
considering everyone's looking for it.

words tumbling out

first pic, forget where it's from. last two, by jennifer tzar

i've been drawing again, which is cool, i missed it.

my month of no chocolate is over. i tried to eat my first chocolate bar, and could only choke down half. it tasted gross and fake. i think i just ruined chocolate for myself lol.

only four more shifts left at my old job. so sad.

i have to go for some doctor tests on wednesday to check out my kidneys. which is lame, because it's my only day off this week, but it's important so not THAT big of a deal. oh kidneys.

just saw duplicity with some friends. so bad. the whole thing was really confusing and frustrating. which was sort of the point, but still. they used way too many flashbacks.

i'm still reading the picture of dorian gray. i don't know what's taking me so long. i guess i'm not all that into it. i'll for sure finish it though.

i like how certain songs can bring me back to an exact moment. or back to several. it's nice to remember something so distinctly like that.

here's a quote i read a while ago i liked. it's by dr. seuss lol, "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

i'm really trying to live in the present right now, and think of exciting things for my future. i'd really like to get some art gallery volunteer experience under my belt, then when i get my first degree, i would like to swap to ireland for a year of work. so far, that's all i got. i'm open for ideas of how to fill in the time from now until then.

i'm happy. i feel like dancing a lot. flickers of sad still sneak their way in now and then, but for the most part, i'm good. i'm excited about my life and for now i'm trying to be adventurous.

thought these were wonderfull

by michael hiung

by lisa romero









i don't remember where i found any of these, probably on one of these blogs (hazelweathefield or itsonlythewind, or from the joys of stumbleupon.

have a lovely image filled day.