tightrope

so you think you can solve all your problems by yourself
nevermind, nevermind, nevermind, nevermind
and i think i can solve all my problems by myself
nevermind, nevermind, nevermind, nevermind

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so fall term is almost done. i had in my last two assignments in on wednesday (i really should be typing it up right now but i'm being a major procrastinator....it's a 12ish page paper...hmm should probably get on that...) then after wednesday all i have to worry about is 5 exams. i can do that. no biggie. well yes biggie, i will be stressing, but whatever, my reward is christmassssss!

skins season 3

i finally got my stuff sorted to watch skins s3. so far i like it. i've already balled a few times. my only complaint is that there's kind of the same character's as before. and by that i mean they're just kind of filling up stereotypes, the skank, the rebel, the nerd, the misfit, the foreign kid, the gay kid, the best friend, etc.

Man cheng jin dai huang jin jia

one of the worst feelings is that panic that sets in when you wake up from a mid day nap. i was so confused when i woke up, my heart was racing. i was trying to figure out whether i'd just slept through school and missed a test, or severely slept in and would be mega late for work. turns out it was neither. but my god by heart went berserk. i'm still feeling nauseous because of it.

also, i watched the movie curse of the golden flower last night. i was in the mood for something visually stimulating with a lot of fighting. the movie scored in the looks department, the costumes and sets were amazing. there weren't too many fight scenes though. oh, and there was a whole lot of incest going on. all in all though, it was a pretty good movie. by the same director of house of flying daggers which was great. i think tonight i might rent the fall instead of doing homework.

curse of the golden flower: (images from imdb)

i had two of the most detailed, long and random dreams last night.


dream one:
the world was being turned into vampires. i only remember parts of the dream now and can't figure out the order, but i'm gonna try my best. i had been captured and turned into a vampire by this group of other vampires and they wanted me to be a part of their renaissance family they were creating. they chose me because of my hair. i was mad because one of the girl vampires kept brushing my hair. we were waiting outside of a house while they tried to find another person to join our family. next part, i was running away from these animals that had been turned into vampires. if you were a vampire and got bit by another vampire, you would get more and more decomposed. so since animals fight with their teeth, all of these animals were rotting and one step away from becoming total mush, but they were also super vicious and trying to bite everyone so it was really scary and everyone was running and trying to kill these animals without getting bit. i remember i was in someones backyard and was sort of trapped and all these gross cats came into the yard and i kept grabbing them and trying to break them. then i ran and hopped over a fence. next part i remember is my family and i were at my grandma's house now and we were all vampires. for some reason i wanted my curling iron from my old house which was far away and in a dangerous part of town. my sister and her friend said they would go get it for me, but i didn't want them to, because i knew they could be killed because the old house was probably infested with the double bit decomposing vampires who would bite everyone. but my sister and her friend tried to show us how powerful they were by doing something with their mind powers and they almost shattered the huge window at the front of my grandmas house, but we stopped them before they could, because my grandma's house was bad vampire proof and if they broke the window we wouldn't be safe any more. so they stopped and my dad went outside to fix the cracked window and it was pouring rain outside. then i went into my grandma's room where she was writing a note. i started to read the note and it was a death note because she didn't want to live as a vampire forever so she had let a double bit vampire bite her and now she was infected and we had to get her out of the house. i started to cry and then yelled for my dad and some other guy to come and get my grandma out of the house. while they did that the rest of us locked ourselves in the dinning room so that if something happened we'd still be safe. but then my mom got really mad and her and two guys that were with us started fighting and breaking things and broke down a wall so now none of us were safe. and then i woke up.


random dream numero deuce:
i had either gone for a walk or bike ride or was in a car and ended up and this girl i know from high school's house where a car of my girl friends was unloading from a trip to the beach. we all started going into this girl's house when a bunch of guys across the street said they knew me, so i went over there and hung out with them for a bit. it was for some sort of birthday party. i'm missing a whole chunk of the dream here, but then i remember i was with five friends and we somehow decided we should all go right that second to visit our friend in sweden! (in real life i don't know anyone who lives in sweden). so then we were all on a plane, super happy that we were going to sweden. when we got there our friend picked us up in his car and we started our swedish road trip. we had to drive through a boarder and the guards were very military looking and gave us dirty looks but they let us through. we stopped at a rest stop later to get snacks and things, and i had to use the washroom and the toilet was in the center of the store right next to a bench. so as i was doing my thing i was talking to my friend who was sitting next to me on the bench. in my dream this wasn't odd at all. then my mom was with us (even though in the dream she wasn't my mom she was just one of my friends on the trip, but i still knew it was my mom) was asking me about the shirt i was wearing. i said it was an archie comic. then my dream turns cartoon mode and we see what my shirts all about, and it's an archie comic that is talking about how usa is awesome and all other countries suck. and my mom told me that that's why the guards were glaring at us, they probably thought we were american's and i should probably change my shirt because it was offensive. my underwear had the same comic on them. i realised that i'd only brought two other shirts with me and was bummed out about it. as we walked back to the car my pants were now way too big for my waist and kept falling down and showing my patriotic archie underwear and i was worried we'd all get in trouble. then, i woke up.

it's okay to complain once in a while.
it's definitely okay to complain and cry if something is bothering you.
but don't cry about the things that don't matter.
don't complain too much about your life.
you're the one who has the power to make it better.
just sayin.


this is just a response to a quote i read talking about how life is disappointing. it's not disappointing at all. everyone has those ridiculously shitty times where you can't imagine being any lower than you feel at that moment, or that it will ever get better. but it always does, just give it a bit of time. if you're disappointed with something in your life, get up and go do something about it.
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last night a bunch of friends of mine played a show and it was beautiful. so many people came out, last i heard there were 220+ people in the venue and everyone kind of knew everyone. it was like every friend group i'd run into here and there were all together, it was neat. i also ran into a guy i used to hang out with a bit in high school but never really got too close with. we chatted for a bit and it was really interesting to see where he's ended up so far. i think his life sounds lovely and i think he's in love which always makes me happy for people.


i'm in a strange slump still. and i don't think i'm ready to get out of it yet. i'm trying, but probably not hard enough. i'm workin on it, just give me time. i'll change when i want to.

somedays i spend WAY too much time doing nothing.
when i should be working on papers.
le sigh.

oh hey rufio!

i watched a girl put on ten coats of mascara while waiting for the bus today.
that's right, i said ten.
yes i counted.

anyway, this is what my weekends are like:


also, long hair, strong jaw lines, high cheek bones. blue eyes.


all the guys working at the walker gallery in minneapolis had long hair and moustaches. i was surprised at the amount of culture floating around downtown minneapolis. they apparently have a pretty big hip hop scene. before i went on my trip, i didn't really even think about going to minneapolis for anything but shopping.

p.s: this made me chuckle

your light is spent - final fantasy. what a pretty song.

i went to minneapolis and it was good. the art was great. my mind has exceeded it's new information limit for a little bit and has been screwing me up. it also doesn't help that i had virtually no sleep last night.
i stopped to take out cash today from a bank machine and after i took my cash out of the machine i left. as in, i didn't take my card out of the machine at all or sign out. leaving my bank account completely open for a meanie to walk up and steal from me. i didn't notice that i'd lost my debit card for over 8 hours. then i had a bit of a freak out when i realised what i'd done. i went back to where i'd been and someone nice decided not to steal from me and returned my card to a store clerk.
whoops.

in minneapolis i navigated a group of us from an art gallery back to our hotel. if you know me, you'd know that i have a complete lack of a sense of direction. it was humorous to me that i was the one leading everyone, and even more so how proud i was that i got us all back with only one two second wrong turn.
as we turned the corner from a back alley to our hotel, we passed by a car parked in the alley full of three big older black dudes dressed all in black smoking cigars. their car had a smashed window and one of the guys was holding a huge wad of cash. they looked like some gangsters out of a movie.

in other news:
these are the books i'm reading. so far both have made me laugh or at least smile. i'll let you know how they are when i'm done. i've decided not to read the tenth circle right now. i haven't liked the author's writing style, it's written like a young adult book.

The Heart Attack Club.
it's a music blog. check it out if you like music.

this song is in my head

i just remembered a dream i had.

i was talking to someone about tattoos and they asked to see mine. i lifted up my shirt to show them my tattoos, besides the bird one i really do have, i had two more. all in a row starting at my bird and then wrapping around to my back. the first one was supposed to be of a friend of mine but he had the body of a wrestler all rippling muscles and stuff. it was done in a really really awful cartoon style. the one next to that was supposed to be that same person, but it was just their face and it was supposed to be a very realistic portrait. it looked like the mad magazine guy. then i noticed i had another tattoo beside that one! i didn't remember getting it and hadn't noticed it because it was completely on my back. it was supposed to be the same person again (no idea why i wanted all these tats of this person), but it was done so badly. the lines were all shaky and the color was blotchy. oh and it looked like a silver alien head. i started crying because i really regretted having these 3 awful/weird tattoos.

^pretty close to what my dream self's tattoos looked like...


also i had something like this tattooed by my collarbone, but this one i liked in my dream. it was some sort of monk symbol.

in my exams so far: B+, B+, B+, A (i was one point away from an A+)

whoa! blah! i'm proud of myself! :D

i'm also excited because birthday weekend has arrived! yaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy

wonderful things

heh heh heh

these next four are by marcia wood. so good.






i miss wearing a watch. i wore one everyday for almost 3 years. then the batteries died. and the watch is falling apart. i think i need a new watch.


favorite part.








i wish my collages could come out looking this great. baroque paintings, renaissance paintings, realism art of any kind, and collages are some of my favorite kinds of art.

finished the gargoyle. i liked it. it was more of a love story than i thought it was going to be, but it was nice. i like reading about people in love. it wasn't overly sappy either.

next i think i have to read some of my text books...

got 3/5 of my exams back and got B+ in all of them so far. i would like an A on at least one of my exams. i might get it yet, we shall see. i'm pretty happy with the B+'s so far though. especially since one of them was for the exam i barely studied for because i was sick of studying :)



birthday weekend starts tomorrow! i always feel awkward about my birthday just because i don't like organizing things for myself. like oh how about you all hang out with me today because i was born. it just feels weird. also when people sing happy birthday i never know what to do. i usually just blush, get embarrassed and stare at the table. not going to lie though, i think birthdays are great. i'm kind of nervous about this one.
even though i'm pretty outgoing, sometimes i still get ridiculously shy. my brithday is often one of those times.


oh! also, halloween was great. well, the 30th was the halloween party i went to, and THAT was great. actual halloween was alright. it was fun driving home that night and seeing goblins, disco balls, and under dressed people wandering the streets. on the walk to my car i saw a very drunk tigger lying under a tree.

The other day i was searching value village for a last minute piece for my halloween costume, i came up empty handed so i wandered over to the book section to see if there was anything of interest, and hurra! there was! for about $2 each i picked up:


the gargoyle by andrew davidson

the tenth circle by jodie picoult

the rebel angels - robertson davies


i started reading gargoyle a two days ago and i'm on page 317.
the writer is canadian and now resides in winnipeg. i don't know why, but i have this weird bias set up against anything canadian made. which is dumb considering one of my favorite books is by margaret attwood who's canadian, and i took a canadian film course where, again, i was pleasantly surprised how much i loved the class. either way, when the book first came out sometime last year and started winning a bunch of awards, i looked into it and though i agreed the story sounded like something i'd like to read, i just decided i wouldn't. but then i spotted it for $2 in value village when it still sells in store for $20+ i figured i might as well give it a shot.
i'm glad i did, it really is great so far. it deserves all of the awards it was given. there's history (that relates to what i've been learning over the past two years in art history courses), there's fantasy, there's love, there's gore, and great characters. i'll let you know when i finish it if i would recommend it or not. sometimes an ending can kill a great book.

the jodi picoult one i just picked up because i've heard her name so often because of my sister's keeper being made into a feature film earlier this year. i thought i should give it a try, my friend read my sisters keeper and said it was good and she cried through the whole thing. being the sap that i am, it sounds like a book for me. the tenth circle in a nutshell is about a father protecting his daughter from an abusive relationship.

rebel angels just sounded interesting to me when i read the back, i've never heard of it or the author before. i'm not even sure what it will be about.

a while ago i picked up a copy of dante's inferno, which is kind of funny, because they talk about it a lot in the gargoyle. i've never read it and it seems like one of those things everyone who likes learning/reading/poetry should look at. that goes the same with paradise lost which i also own (i got it a few years ago when i worked at the bookstore), but i've never read yet. i think i bought that after watching what dreams may come which was supposed to be a modern take on paradise lost. i'd wanted to read it after seeing excerpts in neil gaimen's his dark materials trilogy.

a friend of mine recommended david sadaris to me, which is funny because i'd seen one of his books around the bookstore quite a bit, but never really looked at it. the other day when i was waiting for my ride, i read the first chapter of when you are engulfed in flames, and it was pretty witty, it made me chuckle. i really respect authors who can write and make me laugh out loud. examples: danny wallace and dave gorman.

well i think that's enough nerd talk for one post. all i asked for for my birthday was books and movies. that's all i ever ask for for anything. i remember someone once made fun of me for giving someone a book for their birthday, i thought it was the best gift. to each their own i guess.